What would you like to see in your mate?

When thinking about your future, what comes to your mind first? Do you imagine it clearly? We all want to meet a soul mate and to create a family and some of us spending many years of our lives looking for the right person. So who is this right person? Our perfect match? First of all it is important to clarify the image of the person you want to become your mate. We all know that no one is perfect, so it is impossible to find a perfect person though it might be possible to find someone who is perfect for YOU! But in order to do so, you need to understand for yourself what are the qualities you are searching for and which qualities your perfect mate should possess.

Here is a list of some the most important criteria that you might want to consider while choosing your perfect match.

1. Personality – would you be happy with someone quiet and shy or talkative and sociable; intense and logical or laid-back and easygoing? Are you attracted to people who are serious or funny? Would you like someone who is independent and strong or someone who lets you make a decision? Would you prefer someone gentle or someone who always says what he feels?

2. Intelligence – no one wants to marry someone who is below them in IQ but you would probably not want to marry a genius either. Recent studies show that couples do best when they are matched with someone similar – whether they are both genius, average or below average. Just keep in mind that people possess not only different degree of intelligence but different kinds as well. So some people have incredible memory for fact while others have a high aptitude for languages.

3. Appearance- while it would be too foolish to base your opinion heavily on the appearance your individual preferences should be considered when defining an image of your perfect match. Beauty is very relative notion and what you consider beautiful and attractive might not be so by common views. So you should rely solely on your own preferences and determine a look you will be pleased with.

4. Character – can you live with someone who lies to you, cheats on you, who is absolutely unreliable? How important is it for you that your mate never steals, lies or acts irresponsibly? These main traits of character as well as many others are something that needs to be considered when choosing a mate.
5. Religious beliefs – perhaps not even only religious beliefs but spirituality. Since spirituality refers to internal faith and beliefs that run deep. If you are spirituality on a different level for example one of you in a believer and the other one in an atheist it might course some irreconcilable differences later on in relationship. Also if you belong to different religions that might course some problems as well. So this is definitely something you need to consider when choosing a mate.
6. Ambition – it is extremely important for two partners who plan to build a happy future together to have the same level of ambitions otherwise with time none of them will be happy. It is ok if both partners want to be carefree as long as they are in agreement. When partners have different levels of inner drive, it can cause conflict and frustration. But if their level of ambition is similar then it can bond them together as they strive to achieve their goals.

7. Chemistry – it is something unexplainable that makes people wanting to be together, look into each other’s eyes, fall in love. It is hard to explain how it works but you certainly can feel if it is there or not.

8. Parenting – is it important for you to have children? If it is then it is crucial for a happy stable relationship that your mate has the same goal and if your views on children’s upbringing are similar it will certainly be very helpful for your relationship.

There are much more general criteria in choosing a mate, especially if you are choosing the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and grow old together, and some criteria might be only YOUR personal ones that are important only for you. So as long as you know what you want from a relationship and have a clear image of your future mate and the relationship you want to build you have more chance to choose the one and only right person for you. Relationship and marriage is about love, support and understanding. It should bring you joy and make you the best person you can be, it should be pleasant for both of you and be healthy. And it depends on you whether you make the right choice at the very beginning or choose a wrong person to marry. You do not need to be similar in everything but the more similar traits you have the easier it will be for you to understand each other and to build a happy relationship. With all this being said, there is a famous saying “Opposites attract”. They really do but what the cute differences that attract us so much in each other at the very beginning of the relationship might be the very things that are so difficult to live with and do accept on a daily basis later on. So it is up to you to decide what you prefer – a passionate but perhaps short relationship or a stable and happy one over the years, the relationship where you can really grow old together…and live happily ever after…