The paradox of passion: why in a relationship one partner always loves more. Part Two.

Being in a relationship, the person who is more loved does not worry about anything. But if he has to win a new partner, then he will make mistakes that are characteristic of the weak side. As a result of this unpleasant experience, he may try to return to his weak partner.

But the strong again may have a syndrome of obligations and uncertainty. As the author notes, at this stage, the couple would do well to visit a psychotherapist.

After separation, a strong person can reconcile and accept his weak partner with all the shortcomings, because comfort, reliability and friendly relations are more important.

What is important to know about weak partners?
Falling in love with a partner more and more, a weak partner exaggerates the advantages of a strong one and does not attach importance to shortcomings. He may not pay attention to alarm bells for a long time. Of course, over time, he begins to notice that the partner does not love him as much as he does, but the weak one tries to change the situation in his usual way - pleasing even more. His efforts backfire.

But fearing to push away the partner with anger, the weak one constantly suppresses his negative emotions. Soon, resentment can turn into hostility and hatred. Rage and helplessness can also cause excessive jealousy.

In the struggle for the attention of a partner, the weak go to any lengths. Some use strangers to make the strong jealous. Others have the idea of ​​having a child in order to bind a partner to themselves. Still others lose patience and raise their hand to their partner.

What happens to the weak when the relationship ends?
At the end of the relationship, the weak one feels as if his whole world has collapsed. He projects his feelings onto the outside world, finds refuge in sad films and music, feels a kindred spirit in any person who understands him.

Filling the void with normal daily activities contributes to the restoration of the rejected weak. Also, the void is often filled with spirituality and charity, shopping, mindless eating or, conversely, starvation, alcohol.

How to improve relationships?
The key to a good relationship is good communication. Silence or constant squabbles cannot bring a partner closer to you. Anger, criticism, resentment, demands further alienate people from each other.

To minimize resentment, it is necessary to drop the accusations. Pre-analyze what you want to say. You can rehearse some lines in advance.

Don't get into figuring out who started first, leave questions of love aside. Because you will either get a dishonest answer or one that you don't like. Discussion will be more effective if you stop worrying about how much someone loves whom. Discuss negative emotions, empathize with each other. Joke to lighten the mood. Make a plan of action in different situations.

What exactly should the weak do?
Seek support from friends and family members; be kind to yourself and stay in touch with reality by stating things like "I'll never get married and will always be single", "I'm not interested", "I'm too fat/tall/bald/old".

Set a reasonable distance, stop pleasing and cheating on your partner. You need to change yourself, trying to change another is a futile exercise. Take inventory of your talents and develop your strengths.

What exactly should a strong man do?
Take your sense of leadership for granted and don't self-flagellate. Get rid of guilt, control anger, try to look at your partner objectively. Use a trial intimacy strategy as opposed to a trial separation so that the weak one gains confidence and control over emotions, and the strong one can assess whether he can be closer to a partner.

Share little things, think over signs of love that are of particular importance to a partner. Talk about feelings and fears. Spending time with a partner is not quantitative, but qualitative. Don't make conditions and be patient.

We wish you that your relationship that you will find on VeronikaLove! were always in balance and harmony.

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