Relationships at a distance: how to know if it is worth continuing

Can a long-distance relationship last, or is it initially doomed to fail? How can they be preserved and maintained?

In 2020, due to the pandemic and related restrictions, many were faced with the fact that personal relationships had to be transferred online. At the same time, novels quite often begin with a long-distance relationship.

First of all, let me remind you that, as a rule, all romantic relationships are initially a long-distance relationship (if you have concerns about this format, then perhaps this thought will cheer you up a little). Nowadays, no one starts an acquaintance with a wedding and living together (I don't take extreme cases into account), and the first meeting and initial communication are increasingly taking place on the Internet, and not in the real world. The period of recognition of each other, associated with the search for common points of contact, the development of rules for interaction, the formulation of prohibitions, and falls on the same "traveling" format, when partners mostly meet either somewhere in public places or on the territory belonging to each of them , or online.

Distance relationships are just as capable of giving us a cocktail of various, sometimes contradictory feelings and emotions, for which (not least) we are looking for a romantic partner: euphoria, delight, surprise, doubt, fear, rage, happiness.

There are circumstances when a long-term distance format of relationships is forced and inevitable - for example, if people live in different cities or countries, with very tight schedules, special working conditions, or in emergency circumstances. These are the main characteristics that make it possible to look at such a relationship as promising.

As a rule, online communication is characterized by a preliminary agreement: "We call on the phone at a certain time in the evening." But such strict planning of personal contacts often makes them routine and tortured.

Try to build communication more flexibly - when you want to, when there is an impulse to call or write. Of course, you should take into account your partner's lifestyle and not interfere with his work schedule, for example. But find a way to add spontaneity to the conversation, especially if the relationship is already established and you are confident in it. Then an unexpected photo, a note with a confession of feelings or a wish for a good day will once again become a pleasant reminder that you are thinking about your lover or beloved.

Remember that communication should be welcome - both for you and for your counterpart. Taking into account his / her personal boundaries, as well as requesting mutual respect for yours, is an essential condition for the success of any partnership, both virtual and face-to-face. To build a productive relationship, passion and love alone are sometimes not enough. There should be coincidences in outlooks on life, in how you build communication with each other, what goals you go to and what you are ready to invest in relationships.

When you live together and meet every day, then over time you inevitably find yourself in the space of routine and monotony; you see your partner in all its forms, both attractive and repulsive. But it is in this kind of real interaction that genuine intimacy is born, which is impossible in long-term relationships at a distance. That is why it is extremely difficult to truly get to know a person and understand what it is like to be with him if you are dating only for a few days a year. Successful long-distance relationships are not only those that take into account all the nuances described above, but also those that ultimately lead people to a long-term comfortable stay in the common territory - after all, it is this format of cooperation that brings us the greatest emotional satisfaction and a feeling of happiness.