Why are people bad at flirting?
People flirt all the time, in real life and even when communicating online, and they do it in hopes of a relationship. A man’s goal can be self-affirmation, research - an attempt to find out whether this beautiful bride from VeronikaLove is interested in you or not, the desire to force another to do what you need, or simply to enjoy the process.
But, despite the fact that we do this all the time, few people can accurately determine whether they are flirting with him or not. In one experiment, they recruited 52 pairs of people, let them chat for a while, and then asked the participants to determine whether the other person was flirting with them or not. As a result, people were much more accurate at recognizing the absence of flirting than the presence of it. Only 36% of men and 18% of women correctly guessed their partner's liking.
Perhaps, deep down in their souls, people feel when they like their interlocutor, but they do not know how to accurately determine this or show their good attitude. At the same time, it's not that difficult. Especially if you muffle the voice of your ego and focus on your partner.
What to do to show your intentions
Good flirting is a natural behavior that both partners enjoy. Pretentiousness, stiffness, excessive protrusion of one's advantages or forcing events can turn a fun game into a tedious pastime and alienate a potential partner.
Therefore, the tired advice to everyone to be natural can still be considered the basis of good flirting. But, besides this, there are several other good techniques that will help you behave more naturally and enjoy the contact.
Show genuine interest
People are selfish by nature. We love to draw attention to ourselves, talk about our achievements and merits.
At the same time, nothing attracts a person more than interest in his own person. So if you want to show someone that you like them, there is no better way to do it than by showing genuine interest in their life.
This means that you are not asking to brighten up an awkward pause in a conversation or to wait for your turn and answer the counter question yourself. You communicate to get to know a person: to understand who he is, what he values, what he loves. Focus on the answers, ask clarifying questions, try to capture the emotions with which he speaks about this or that event in his life.
This way you will kill two birds with one stone. Firstly, sincere interest is always felt. Even if a person does not immediately understand that you like him, he will at least want to meet you again.
Secondly, concentration on the words of the interlocutor and complete immersion in the communication process will not leave time for worries and will protect you from feigned behavior and boasting in an attempt to impress a person.
Give a compliment - but not a trivial one
Compliments are a classic flirt, but the only praise that's truly impressive is the kind that feels personal and deserved. Therefore, it is best to give compliments based on the essence of the conversation. Firstly, it will show your attention, and secondly, it will give the person special pleasure, because everyone loves to be noticed and appreciated.
For example, if you just discussed musical preferences, you can admire the person’s excellent taste, if he talked about some of his achievements - note his perseverance, endurance or perseverance.
Even appearance can be praised in different ways. For example, instead of the banal “you are beautiful”, notice that the interlocutor has an amazingly sweet smile.
Just don't go to extremes. You should not bombard a person with verbose compliments - this is alarming and causes the opposite effect.
Turn on humor and laugh yourself
In one study, participants were allowed to chat for 10 minutes and then found out which of them flirted and how they did it. It turned out that both women and men laughed and joked when they liked their partner. And, although such behavior occurred without flirting, if people liked each other, it was always present.
The authors of a large study involving thousands of students from Norway and the USA came to the same conclusions. Scientists tested 40 different types of flirting and found that humor was the most effective strategy for both sexes. And especially for men who are looking for a long-term relationship.
Jokes did not help only one group of people look more attractive in the eyes of their partners—women who were looking for short sexual adventures. For them, the best option was to laugh at the phrases of men, rather than demonstrate a good sense of humor themselves.
However, giggling at a partner's joke turned out to be a useful strategy for all genders, regardless of whether they were looking for a short or long-term relationship.
So tune in to the wave of humor. This will help determine how well you suit each other, create a cool, relaxed atmosphere and bring a lot of fun.
Pay attention to body language
When people flirt, they take open positions - they turn towards each other, do not cross their arms and legs. At the same time, men unconsciously try to take up more space, and women fiddle with their clothes, actively gesticulate, and tilt their heads to the side.
When speaking, maintain eye contact instead of looking around the room or being distracted by other people. If you follow the first tip, it will be easy: the one who really listens to the interlocutor will not be distracted by extraneous stimuli.
Flirting also often involves touching, which is a great way to see if there really is a spark between you. According to research, people of both sexes believe that moving closer, touching someone on the forearm, or holding someone's hand is a great way to show that you care about someone.
The main thing here is not to overdo it and catch response signals. You will certainly understand whether a person likes such tactile additions to the conversation or whether he strives to break the distance to avoid them.
These are proven methods that probably won’t let you down if your potential partner really likes you.
Ijaz khan
매그너스9
Juliantes