If you fail to build healthy and comfortable relationships, then you have not learned to analyze your past experience. This must be done not in order to identify the guilty and relieve oneself of responsibility for the mistakes made, but in order to learn valuable lessons and not repeat one's mistakes in the future. If you do not analyze your previous experience, you run the risk of being disappointed in your own choice over and over again and stumble in the same situations.
Learn to take responsibility for your choices
The fact that you once entered into a relationship with your now ex-girlfriend is the result of your own decision. You weighed all the pros and cons and considered that you need to create a couple with her. So do not relieve yourself of responsibility for your choice - without your consent, the relationship would hardly have been able to begin.
Yes, later your decision could cause conflicting feelings in you, could disappoint you and show that you were wrong. But most of the time it's your problem. You could jump to conclusions, confuse your expectations with the real state of affairs, turn a blind eye to what did not suit you for a long time, or hope that you will come to terms with the girl’s shortcomings.
The ability to take responsibility for your choices in a relationship prevents you from putting yourself in the position of a victim and absolve yourself of guilt for a bad experience. Even if your past relationship ended because of you and your actions, this does not relieve you of responsibility. If you learn to perceive any interaction between two adults as the result of their joint decision, it will become much easier for you to analyze your experience and prevent repeating your mistakes in the future.
Stop looking for flaws in your past partner
It is easiest to fall into a constant search for the partner’s shortcomings after an unsuccessful relationship. Thus, you will once again be convinced that you are not to blame for the negative outcome. But in order to analyze what really went wrong and how to prevent these mistakes from happening again in the future, you need to stop looking for your ex-girlfriend's flaws. Not only will this not change the current situation in any way, but it will also prevent you from objectively considering what happened between the two of you.
Instead, it is better to aim at analyzing the situation in general. You do not need to look for the causes of negative events in your partner, it is better to think about what your actions could have led to such a result. Consider cause and effect relationships so that you can clearly see what you should not do in the future.
Analyze not only the bad, but also the good
When a relationship ends, especially not on a positive note, the first thing you see is the negative. However, there are also positive lessons to be learned from any relationship. There will be a lot of them if you force yourself to consider not only failures and disappointments, but also happy moments experienced by you together.
Sometimes it’s just the positive experience that matters more than all the negativity that you will also take out of the relationship. You can highlight certain behavioral strategies, get important insights, comprehend valuable lessons to take into account all this in the future. This will help you grow and develop further.
Identify the attitudes that prevent you from building healthy relationships
Analyze what attitudes prevent you from building healthy relationships with girls. There can be a huge variety of attitudes themselves - this is your habit of setting yourself up for a negative outcome in advance, and various stereotypes about women, and the desire to make your relationship look like the relationship of your parents. You need to get rid of beliefs that do not correspond to the real state of affairs. Otherwise, any of your relationships will be doomed to failure in advance. And this applies even to relationships with a girl who really suits you.
It is best if you write down and analyze the entire list of your negative attitudes. To challenge strong beliefs, you will have to do a lot of work on yourself and your thinking. The best place to start is by looking for rebuttals to these attitudes. Find examples of relationships where things work out differently, and try to look at as many of those situations as you can. You must come to the conclusion that relationships are different and depend on how both partners want to see them.
Ijaz khan
매그너스9
Juliantes