Men and women go through important milestones in a romantic relationship: falling in love, first sex, first good sex, lapping, first fights, addiction, stability, often the birth of a child. Each of them can become both a point of growth for a couple, and a source of misunderstanding and problems. I have selected seven books that will teach you to better understand yourself and your partner, express your love, keep the fire in a stable relationship, fight like the Japanese and - imagine! - control the level of happiness.
1. Sue Johnson "Hold Me Tight"
For all people - young and mature, unmarried and married, wealthy and not so - in a relationship with a partner, feelings of affection and closeness to him are important. For both men and women, these are basic needs. Sue Johnson offers a new approach to therapy, developed by herself, that teaches readers to use the turning points in relationships in order to improve them, make them stronger and more durable.
The book has three parts. In the first, the author seeks answers to eternal questions about love: what is it, where does love go, how do we lose intimacy, although everyone seems to understand and want the best. In the second, we are introduced to the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy, which Sue outlines based on her experience as a researcher and psychotherapist. It clearly shows how you can move from theory to practice in a relationship with your partner. The third part is devoted to the power of love.
2. Harry Chapman "The Five Love Languages"
Caring and love can be shown in different ways. The author proposed the concept that there are five love languages. For some, words of support and encouragement are important, for others - quality time, help, gifts or touches. Each of us has our own “leading” love language, and the rest only complement it. Thanks to the author and numerous examples from his practice, you can easily recognize your leading language, as well as the language of your partner, parents, friends and children, and understand how to convey your feelings and find a common language with everyone you care about.
The author's idea found a warm response from readers - its circulation in English amounted to 3 million copies, and it was also translated into 34 languages, including Hindi and Arabic.
3. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz-Gottman “Child test. How to Stop Happiness from Ruining Your Relationship
For many couples, the birth of a baby is a long-awaited and happy event, but when the family expands, difficulties can arise even in the strongest couples. The authors share how, after becoming parents, to leave intimacy and romance in a relationship. Their experience will help to avoid the problems and stress that often accompany the joyful event - the birth of a child. You will learn to focus on intimacy and romance, not be critical of your partner, and create a calm and healthy environment that will have a beneficial effect on your baby's development.
4. Esther Perel "Reproduction in captivity"
Oh, this eternal conflict between conflicting needs! We are drawn to a stable and comfortable relationship, and at the same time we want both novelty and passion. We expect from a partner that he will miraculously be at the same time mysterious, and "ours on the board", and a passionate lover, and best friend. The author explored the connection between a long-term relationship and desire, and honestly and wittyly talked about how to return the spark to a familiar relationship.
5. Loreta Graziano Breuning "Hormones of happiness"
The book, thanks to which it becomes clear everything about the work of “hormones of happiness”, where “mood swings” come from and what chemical processes in the brain are responsible for our feelings of happiness or vice versa. You will learn how to activate the hormones that make us happier, how to form new patterns of behavior and habits, which, in turn, triggers the action of “happiness hormones”. Fascinating theory and exercises will become your assistants.
6. Tatsunari Iota “She doesn't explain, he doesn't guess. The Japanese art of dialogue without quarrels
Japanese bestseller about the "right" quarrels. The woman wants to get married, and the man wants freedom; a woman is emotional, a man relies on logic; a woman remembers every little thing, a man forgets even a big offense ... Two different worlds. Two poles, two opposite personalities are trying to build a relationship. The author shows the main sources of conflicts (and there are thirty-six of them, by the way!) and offers ready-made phrases “for her” and “for him”, which can be used to extinguish the dispute and turn conflicts to the benefit of the relationship.
As always, the most important thing is not just to read the book and nod, saying, yes, a good idea, and this one too, but to try to use the ideas and suggestions of the authors in your life, in your relationships. Share with a partner, think about what and how could work for you. Read, discuss, try - and be happy together.
Ijaz khan
매그너스9
Juliantes