This topic is likely to be eternal, because no matter how society changes, the attraction of the opposite sex to each other will still remain. In this game, in order to gain attention, it is more difficult for men. Most guys get used to constant rejection and begin to consider themselves just losers that no one likes at all. This is an incorrect judgment. There are several reasons why it can be so difficult to meet girls. Most likely, among them you will find a problem that prevents you from approaching the person you like, talking to her or continuing to communicate so that she does not later add you to the black list.
1. You don't understand where your "target audience" is.
There are many places where you can meet girls, and each of them requires its own development. The most popular place in our time is the Internet. In most cases, these are special dating apps, but there are still old believers who try their luck on social networks and even in instant messengers, as was the case 15 years ago in ICQ. You must determine in advance where it will be more comfortable for you to get acquainted and communicate. There are guys who are absolutely not given social networks, but they easily hit up girls in bars. But more often it is the opposite, when in reality it is more difficult to take the first step due to shyness or fear of being rejected. So you need to take a sober look at yourself - as if from the outside and see your strengths and weaknesses. No need to choose the most popular or most unusual way to meet. You should work with the source where it will be easiest for you.
2. You think that women have all the power over you.
This problem has been known for a long time, but it is very difficult to eradicate it. The point is the deification of girls, turning them into mobile idols without sin, which must be worshipped. This is a serious mistake. We note right away that in this case we are not talking about the fact that you should treat the ladies like dirt under your feet. No, only stupid boys who have read advice from pickup gurus from the 10s do this. It's about you having to stop turning every girl into a god. How it looks from the outside: you, like a helpful dog, wag your tail and fulfill any whim. And it's not about some expensive gifts and vivid demonstrations of their capabilities, but about the banal lack of attempts to come to a compromise. Most guys who find it difficult to meet girls initially choose a behavior in which they immediately throw a white flag at the feet of a woman. Understand that women, like men, also want spice. They do not need humility - they also love excitement. And when you give up right away, she loses all interest. On the contrary, if you behave as if you are communicating with a friend or colleague, and not with an object of desire, she has a spark, she wants to get to the bottom of you, to understand what you are hiding inside.
3. You use the peacock tactic.
The essence of the "peacock" tactics is that a man tries to embellish himself as much as possible in order to impress. When you approach a girl in reality or write to her on a social network, entering with "trump cards", she already sees a fake. The problem with this strategy is that you feel constant tension from the pressure of the “mask” put on your face. Instead of adequately responding to her words, you try to think through all the steps every second so as not to accidentally show yourself real. But this is a lot of stress, even if you do not notice it. This does not mean that you need to dump everything that is in your thoughts - this way you will definitely screw up the acquaintance, even if she is not against informal communication. For a guy, being himself when dating is the same as for a girl to go on a date without makeup or in casual office clothes. Embellish, but only in those moments where it is really necessary and is not capable of destroying a carefully constructed legend.
4. You're trying to be too cute.
Is it bad to show kindness and respect to a girl when meeting? Of course not - you must respect her wishes and principles. However, at the moment of acquaintance, many guys make the same mistake - they show too ardent courtesy. They do this subconsciously or quite consciously, out of fear of being rejected or offended by a carelessly thrown word or lack of agreement with her statements. If a woman is attracted to a man, she will not reject him just because he expresses his opinion and disagrees on some issues. She can forgive even up to a certain point if she sees how the guy defends his opinion. On the contrary, the one who is completely uninterested in getting to know each other will react sharply to any challenges, even if they are illusory. If she sees a guy who is overly sweet and courteous to her, it only makes her yawn. The truth is, you have to make her feel the desire for you. Of course, the word "force" does not mean coercion, but a call to interest, both intellectual and physical. A good guy does not cause desire, you want to hug him, stroke his head and put him in the cradle.
5. You use a template strategy.
Since this is not about how to interest a woman, but about the difficulty of dating women, the conversation will go a little about something else. When we talk about patterns in communication, we do not mean how and when you will speak, but in general, patterned behavior when meeting. When you think over a plan to conquer a girl in advance, you are already doomed to failure, as you try to stick to a certain strategy. From here questions arise in the style: “What is such a beauty doing in such a place?”. The problem with thinking ahead is that plans change the moment you open your mouth or write the word hello. You cannot predict the reaction, the style of answers and other parameters in advance, but you still try to act according to the strategy developed before you met. This leads to cognitive dissonance, which makes getting to know each other a torture. What can we advise in this case? natural communication. Once again: a woman is not a deity. She is a person like you, and she can also read pretense and scripting. No one says that you don’t need to work out scenarios, just treat them like a cheat sheet, and not a clear guide to actions, from which you can’t deviate a single step. Communication should be natural, and at the same time interesting. No need to consider yourself a clown entertaining the public, it's still your initiative. If not for you, but for the girl who came up to you, she would behave in exactly the same way, trying to get your attention.
6. You literally approach advice on the Internet.
Even in our article, there are only approximate solutions, but not instructions for action. This is just the general opinion of men who have learned from both positive and negative experiences in dealing with girls. If someone says that he has known the truth and that in order to get everything you want, you need to strictly follow his instructions, then most likely he is either inflating his price or wants to swindle money from you by signing up for some kind of successful success. It is because of the abundance of advice in the internship. If you are reading this inscription, then someone took for guys, it is becoming more and more difficult to get acquainted with girls. Be sure to do this, in no case do this, be like this and do not try to seem different, and so on. Because of such advice, many guys have lost their naturalness, their sense of excitement. They act according to a clear script written by men who have never been in a similar situation. Every guy has a unique experience, so you don't have to follow the beaten path. Take these tips into account and modify them to suit your situation.
Ijaz khan
매그너스9
Juliantes