Each of us is dependent on others in one way or another. Therefore, it is extremely difficult to realize that you are in a dependent relationship. Feelings for a partner prevent you from opening your eyes to what is happening and understanding that the inability to imagine your life without a girlfriend is not at all a manifestation of true love.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, care, support, common interests and plans for the future, while addictive relationships are based only on a toxic connection. You and your girlfriend lose their independence and focus only on each other, pushing away your loved ones and giving up your old hobbies.
To prevent a relationship from becoming dependent, you need to avoid some common mistakes. Here are a few of these actions that destroy your self-sufficiency in the long run.
1 You refuse to meet with friends and family
You may start to refuse meetings with your loved ones because of the desire to spend more time with a girl. If you do this on rare occasions, this is normal and nothing to worry about. But if such behavior becomes a habit for you, be sure that the negative consequences will not keep you waiting. By limiting yourself in communication with friends and family, you will gradually make the girl the center of your life. As your connection to your environment weakens and breaks, your obsession with your loved one will grow. Ultimately, the girl can become the one that replaces everyone you were close to.
2 You always take your girlfriend with you
The desire to spend as much time together as possible is absolutely normal in a relationship. However, do not forget that you, in addition to each other, have relatives, friends, hobbies, work. You should have your own personal space that does not need to be shared with a partner. This is what allows you to relax from each other, develop, achieve goals that are important specifically to you. To prevent your relationship from becoming dependent, try to learn how to stay happy both next to your girlfriend and away from her.
3 You try to share all hobbies and interests
The fact that you love each other does not oblige you to love and share the interests of a partner. It's great if you have common hobbies, a similar outlook on how to spend your free time. If you disagree on something, you don’t have to put up with inconvenience, give up what is important to you. You don't have to be similar to each other to keep a relationship. It is your differences that make you mature individuals who have a lot to learn from each other. And if you want to get even closer and understand how your partner lives, then it's best to look for compromises that will suit both of you, and not go against yourself.
4 You think that your girlfriend's happiness depends on you Remember one simple thing: if a person does not want to be happy, no one can help him with this. The happiness of a person depends primarily on himself. It is he who must work to ensure that his life is comfortable and interesting, that he is surrounded only by pleasant people, so that external stimuli do not spoil his mood. You can't make your girlfriend happy, you can only help her make it. Your desire to improve her life at any cost, to achieve her recognition and praise, to change her perception of the world, will lead to nothing but disappointment. In addition, there is a great risk that most decisions will be made by you based on her interests, and not on your own.
5 You take a relationship to a new stage very quickly
There is a high risk that the relationship will develop into a dependent if you are moving closer quickly. For example, you invite a girl to start dating almost immediately after you meet, you soon move in together, and then you propose to her. In this case, you do not have time to get to know your partner well and are guided mainly by expectations, idealizing your choice. Well, fantasies, unfortunately, are not always destined to come true. It turns out that you see an ideal girl and fall into a real dependence on her, not wanting to objectively evaluate your relationship.
6 You don't forgive yourself for mistakes
If you are the same person who firmly believes that you must always do the right thing, this can negatively affect your relationship. When you start to fear that your girlfriend will leave you because of your mistake or stupid act, your self-esteem drops. You begin to depend on the opinion of a loved one: afraid of criticism and trying to earn praise by any means.
7 You think that your relationship depends only on you It is dangerous to be under the illusion that your relationship and its future depends only on you. Both partners are always responsible for the relationship - both you and your girlfriend, and equally. No matter how hard you try, if a girl decides to break up with you, nothing will hold her back. Therefore, you should not take responsibility for your couple and do everything so as not to lose your loved one.
8 You enter a relationship wanting to get rid of feelings of loneliness
A common mistake is to start a relationship in order to get rid of the feeling of inner emptiness and loneliness. In this case, you run the risk of pushing all areas of life into the background, concentrating your attention only on your loved one. And over time, nothing can arouse your interest and the feeling that everything is fine in your life. This will turn your relationship into a dependent one.
9 You stick to the idea that your girlfriend owes you
In a dependent relationship, one person always expects something from the other - a certain behavior, reactions, emotions. Moreover, this expectation can sometimes appear, even if you did not touch on these topics in conversations with a girl. It is a big mistake to assume that someone owes you something, especially if you have not heard promises from a person.
10 You put the girl's wants and needs ahead of your own No matter how much you love a person, your own goals, wants and needs should come first. As soon as you forget about yourself, pushing your interests into the background, your self-esteem drops dramatically. You stop being the main person in your life. In addition, there is a feeling of dissatisfaction, disappointment with what is happening around, the feeling of apathy intensifies, and you gradually lose motivation to do anything.
Ijaz khan
매그너스9
Juliantes