Why You Should Avoid Pretending in a Relationship

Pretending in a relationship may seem like a great temporary solution to maintaining peace and harmony. In reality, it has fatal negative consequences. After all, a relationship requires honesty, openness, and individuality from both of you. Without them, you will not be able to build a truly healthy and happy relationship. Today, we will list several convincing reasons why it is so important to avoid pretense.

You create a false image of yourself in your partner
If you pretend to please a girl or meet her expectations, you create a distorted image of your personality. As a result, she may begin to fall in love not with the real you, but with the images and qualities that you artificially demonstrate. This process leads to building a relationship on an unreliable basis. The coming realization that the person next to you is actually different can be a big blow to your partner, destroying his trust and feelings.

In addition, it will be difficult for you to constantly maintain a certain image. Living a double life is exhausting and stressful. Sincerity, on the other hand, lays the foundation for a healthier and more honest relationship. When both people accept each other for who they really are, we can talk about building trust and a secure attachment.

You won’t be able to grow and develop together
Pretending not only creates a false impression of you in the girl’s mind, but also slows down your mutual development. In a healthy relationship, partners support and inspire each other to grow personally and professionally. But if one of you behaves insincerely, this disrupts the dynamics of positive change.

Cooperative development involves open and sincere communication, which is impossible if there is pretense. Sincerity allows you to discuss your dreams, plans, fears and failures, which helps to create a strong emotional connection. True intimacy is born from the ability to be vulnerable with each other, to share your true feelings and experiences. Joint growth and development are impossible without sincere emotional support and mutual understanding.

You lose your individuality
When you pretend to be someone you’re not in a relationship, you start to lose touch with your true self. Constantly adjusting to the expectations of a girl or society in general can lead to your identity becoming blurred. This is dangerous because it is your individuality that helps you express your true desires, needs, and emotions. If you constantly play the role of someone else, you can eventually forget who you really are.

Losing your individuality can have serious consequences for your mental health. You can start to feel unfulfilled and unhappy, even if your life seems perfect on the surface. This is because your values ​​and desires are in conflict with how you act and react in everyday life.

You spend a huge amount of emotional resources Pretending in a relationship requires a huge emotional investment from you. To play a certain role, you need to constantly control your words and actions, adapt to changing circumstances and be careful not to reveal your true nature. Constant tension and the need to be on guard drain you both emotionally and physically.

Emotional resources are not endless. Gradually, you begin to feel a decline in strength, loss of interest in life, disappointment, and so on. Pretending becomes a burden that you carry every day, and this weight can be unbearable.

You do not feel truly close
Being open and honest with your loved one is the main criterion for creating a healthy and happy relationship. When you hide your true thoughts and feelings, your partner may understand this insincerity and begin to doubt you. There is something left unsaid, a feeling that you are not completely honest with each other, a fear of being deceived and a constant expectation of betrayal. In addition, the feeling of loneliness and alienation grows, threatening to destroy the relationship. Only by avoiding pretense do you open the way to building real emotional intimacy.

Your pretense will be revealed sooner or later
The truth always comes out. No matter how well you can hide your thoughts and feelings, it is impossible to pretend forever. Your behavior, gestures, tone of voice - all this will eventually give you away. When a girl discovers your pretense, she will feel deceived and betrayed. To avoid painful consequences for both of you, it is better to be honest with your loved one from the very beginning, even if the truth is unpleasant at times.