Why do you start relationships with girls who are not suitable for you

If your every relationship ends in failure and disappointment, then you are doing something wrong. For example, you may start dating girls who are completely unsuitable for you. And in some cases, you yourself understand this very well, but you still get close to them and create a couple.

To change the current situation, you need to analyze your motives. We have put together a few reasons why you start a relationship with someone who is not right for you.

You think you can put up with her flaws.
Each person has their own strengths and weaknesses. The essence of the relationship is not to find a girl who will not have any flaws - this task is doomed to failure in advance. Concentrate on finding someone whose shortcomings will be acceptable to you. If you understand that you cannot put up with certain character traits of a girl, her outlook on life, goals, and so on, it is best not to torture yourself and her.

Your hopes that in the future you will be able to come to terms with the shortcomings of a loved one are unlikely to come true. If the features of the girl's behavior cause you a strong annoyance, it is unlikely that over time something will change dramatically.

You build up expectations about the girl.
During the dating period, you can evaluate the information received about the girl and, based on it, build certain expectations. But keep in mind that getting carried away and drawing in your imagination the image of a person even before you get to know each other well is at least naive. Your expectations may not have anything to do with reality, and after a while you yourself will feel deceived. It is best to give up any expectations and wait until the person opens up to you for real. Another option for avoiding frustration and investing resources in a relationship with the wrong partner is to ask more questions. If you want to know about something, do not guess, but try to find out the information of interest for sure.

You hope to change the girl.
You can enter into a relationship with a girl who is absolutely not right for you, hoping to initiate her changes in the future. This often happens if the stumbling block is several topics in which each of you speaks with directly opposite views. If you do decide to start a relationship, most likely, each of you, deep down, hopes to change your partner. Perhaps you think that you will be able to give strong arguments in defense of your position or gradually persuade the girl to her.

Believing that people can be changed so easily is a big mistake. Nobody changes just because someone else needs it. No arguments, requests, and even blackmail will help you with this. The maximum that you can achieve in these ways is that the girl will decide to behave the way you wanted for a while, just so that you finally get behind her. But in the end, you will still return to the starting point, and you will feel disappointed.

You are afraid of loneliness.
If you are afraid to be alone or you are uncomfortable without a partner, this may push you to start relationships with girls who are absolutely not suitable for you. You will do it simply because any, even the most inappropriate option will seem better to you than life without a partner.

Fear of loneliness can also be fueled by your family and friends. They can put pressure on you to lose a lot by refusing relationships, they can remind you of your age and the ticking clock, they can try to introduce you and set you up with different girls. If you really want to create healthy and happy relationships, you will first need to learn how to feel comfortable alone with yourself and defend your personal boundaries in communication with loved ones.

You choose girls who evoke a lot of strong emotions in you.
We are used to personifying love and relationships with emotional intensity. Imagine that you met a girl who immediately reciprocated, told the whole truth about herself, agreed with you about how your relationship will look like. And now everything is fine with you - you are calm and comfortable with each other, no one expects any catch, does not cause jealousy in a partner and does not make scandals. This is the very ideal relationship that each of us aspires to. But not everyone can stand them.

You can get bored in a healthy and stable relationship. Therefore, instead of dating a reliable girl with whom you share common goals and values, you choose for yourself those who cause you a lot of strong emotions. For this reason, you may like girls who are completely unsuitable for you. Next to them, you constantly feel an emotional swing, struggle with any difficulties, defend your rights, and so on. You can confuse these feelings with love and passion, and this will continue until you realize that in fact such relationships do not make you happy.