Why “being yourself” is the best strategy for finding a partner

Approved by psychologists who conducted a series of studies to study the issue.

When we consult about relationships, we may hear something like, “Just be yourself and everything will work out.” On an intuitive level it sounds plausible. Being sincere, open and honest would seem to be truly the best way to find the right partner.

However, the phrase “Be yourself” requires some clarification. What exactly does this mean? How is this reflected in behavior? What type of partner finds this attractive? What kind of relationship is this suitable for? Psychologists decided to figure it out and came to interesting conclusions.

What does it mean to be yourself in a relationship?
In search of an answer to this question, specialists from Adelphi University (USA) and the University of Western Sydney (Australia) conducted a series of studies. They studied the importance of authenticity for a long-term strategy for finding romantic partners (as in psychology and psychotherapy they call a person’s ability to refuse social roles in communication and be himself, showing his true feelings and thoughts). To assess its role, scientists used a special scale that determines authenticity-driven behavior in relationships based on two factors:

- Unacceptability of deception.
People who are characterized by this quality are not ready to put up with deception from others and do not themselves mislead their partner.

- Willingness to take risks.
Such people are more interested in intimate self-disclosure, willingly do it and are not afraid to take risks with their partner.
The studies found that participants who avoided deception and had the courage to be themselves tended to be good romantic partners, especially in long-term relationships. They were sensitive and loyal.

Participants who were less authentic in their approach to finding a partner were divided into two groups. One contained deceivers with the characteristics of the “dark triad” - narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.

The second group included study participants who could not open up to their partner due to fear of rejection and problems with attachment. That is, they did not use manipulation, but were worried and afraid to show their true nature. However, with some training and support, these individuals can be encouraged to be bolder in their authenticity and successfully build long-term relationships.

Serious relationship
For this situation, participants provided the most detailed list of behaviors. As with serious dating, authentic people focus on honesty, dress casually, flirt a little, and go on dates.

They also take intimacy and commitment one step further. In particular, they spend more time with their partner and invite him to family celebrations and vacations. They also discuss future plans and relationship goals, such as marriage.

How to be yourself when looking for a partner
Considering the results of the study, authenticity is indeed a successful strategy for finding a suitable partner, especially if you want a long-term relationship with a Veronikalove bride. The challenge may be learning to be yourself and dealing with the anxiety of revealing your true self. Here's what will help with this.

Be brave
Many people have unpleasant experiences and fears related to relationships. This anxiety often prevents you from being sincere. But you can try to rethink negative attitudes and learn to cope with rejection. This will allow you to open up, build trust and freely express interest in your partner.

Be positive
Here, “being yourself” is combined with “trying to make the best impression.” Sharing something unique about yourself or showing off your positive qualities will make you more attractive and create long-term attraction.

To be honest
Being honest about what you want and what you can offer is a hallmark of people who rely on authenticity when searching for a partner. When you are open about your needs, you increase your chances of getting a good outcome. Openness creates intimacy in relationships. Therefore, direct and sincere flirting leads to long-term success and satisfaction.

Be purposeful
Authenticity involves being clear about what you want, especially in the long term. Therefore, it is worth thinking about what your goals are in the relationship and how ready you and your partner are for commitment. This will allow you to be open and honest, enjoy each other and establish a lasting love connection.