Reasons why you lose yourself in relationships

Mass culture instills in us the belief that to truly love someone means to dissolve in this person, to become one with him. However, the prospect of being that very couple who always and everywhere goes only together, with no idea how to survive even a fleeting separation, should actually fill you with horror. After all, a person’s lack of his own interests, desires, and needs that can and should be realized leads to the loss of himself. Let’s break down point by point why this situation occurs.

You sacrifice your interests
Before sacrificing your interests in a relationship, ask yourself why such sacrifices are necessary in the first place. If you and your girl initially have too little in common, and also hold fundamentally different views on issues that are important to you, the very existence of your couple is extremely doubtful. Either you will have to search for a long and tedious compromise, or someone will have to make sacrifices, while understanding that someday you may greatly regret this decision. When you fall in love with a person, you are ready for a lot, but it is important not to overdo it. By forgetting about your own interests in an attempt to please a girl, you lose yourself and begin to give up what is truly of great value to you.

You don't stand up for your opinion
You may mistakenly believe that a healthy and happy relationship should be free of conflict and disagreement. But this is not so: the worst thing is to remain silent when you feel disagreement and internal dissatisfaction with the situation. Your willingness to agree with a girl just so as not to spoil the two of you is ruining your relationship in the long run. Besides this, you are also destroying yourself. When you submit to your partner, silencing your disagreement, you lose yourself, your voice, your individuality. You voluntarily stop talking about what you think and feel, gradually adapting to the other person.

You don't feel your self-worth
If you constantly allow a girl to violate your personal boundaries, dictate what you do, put her interests above yours without a chance to find a compromise, you lose your self-worth. Gradually, you stop believing in your abilities and become obsessed with self-improvement for your partner. Perceiving your worth through the lens of relationships is a huge mistake. In this way, you make yourself vulnerable to various manipulations, give the girl the right to make decisions for you, try to achieve her approval and make her happy. At the same time, you completely forget that you are valuable just the way you are.

You have no personal space
The lack of personal space hits a person hard. If a girl doesn't respect your desire to spend time away from her, you start to feel limited. Everyone needs at least an hour a day that can be spent thinking about topics of interest, analyzing recent events, their feelings and plans. Sometimes the reason you don't have personal space is yourself. This is what happens when you become obsessed with your girlfriend, literally living with her, her needs, desires and interests. However, lack of personal space in the long run can lead to a loss of individuality and doubt about who you really are.

You compare your relationships with others
You constantly see happy couples around you. They post declarations of love on their social networks, give each other expensive gifts, and show with all their appearance that everything is fine with them. Unwittingly, you can begin to compare your relationships with others, while drawing conclusions that are far from being in your favor. Of course, any comparisons are a direct path to disappointment, because it seems that other people are doing everything easier, better, faster, and so on. As a result, you are left with a feeling of dissatisfaction with what you have now. Doubts about yourself and your relationships will make you feel the need to change. Even if you are more than satisfied with the course of events, you can begin to transform your habits, goals and values. As a result, after some time you will not feel the desired happiness, you will not get closer to perfection. The only thing you will achieve is to lose yourself.