How to live without drama and be happy

Psychologists and VeronikaLove! team offer the following solutions

1. Work through the past with a specialist
Before starting a relationship, you need to deal with your cockroaches and become a truly mature, holistic and responsible person. Just in order not to drag your traumas and prejudices into the life of another person and not make yourself and him suffer.

Therefore, if you realize that it is not yet possible to build relationships without drama, then you will have to delve into your childhood, understand where your legs grow from, and gradually deal with all the attitudes, fears, resentments and feelings that make you behave this way. Do it better together with a good psychologist.

2. Learn to speak
It's hard, but being open about your feelings is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

For example, a person who is worried that he is not loved enough and is afraid of losing his partner can go two ways:

Provoke a scandal, be offended and force the other person to prove their feelings.
It’s blunt to say that he feels lonely and vulnerable, worries about the future of relationships and wants to be “picked up” and reminded how good and beloved he is.
Those inclined to drama usually choose the first path. But you need to strive for the second.

3. Look for activities
Drama sometimes absorbs a person so much that he literally lives in quarrels and reconciliations, falling into dependence on these swings and losing himself. Therefore, you should remember what else is important and interesting in life, what other passions and hobbies you have, and devote time to these things. If the world doesn't revolve around relationships alone and leaves room for hobbies, careers, or creativity, then drama doesn't seem as appealing anymore.

4. Identify triggers and take breaks
Try to understand at what moments you are drawn to conflict with your partner and make scenes. Maybe this is a reaction to loneliness and lack of attention? Or is it the fear of losing a loved one that spills out? Or is the drama an attempt to deal with anxiety about the future?

As soon as a more or less clear idea is formed about exactly what moments you are drawn to exploits, you need to start tracking these situations and taking time out when they occur. Do not automatically react with provocations, jealousy and quarrels, but think about how else you can calm yourself. Perhaps it will be a conversation or a joint activity with a loved one, relaxation, writing in a diary.

5. Avoid Abusive Partners
If you have a narcissist, a manipulator and a tyrant next to you, no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you work on yourself, there will be no drama in the relationship. Therefore, it is important to notice the alarm bells from the very beginning: depreciation and insults, attempts to control and limit you, rudeness, violation of boundaries, imposing your opinion, excessive assertiveness. This will help to break the unhealthy connection in time.