How to avoid quarrels?

Even a happy family life cannot be imagined without quarrels. As you know, truth is born in a dispute, but in reality this does not always happen. Most often, mutual reproaches and resentments appear in the conflict, which only aggravate the situation and lead to discord between people. Psychologist Vladimir Klimov told how to quarrel so as not to spoil relations with a person and resolve the conflict.

Don't delay

The psychologist advises not to be silent if you are not satisfied with something in a relationship with a friend or loved one. In the end, there will be so many understatements that you will simply "explode", and your friend will not expect this at all. Try to solve problems as they come. If you don't like something, say so right away. Small troubles are much easier to resolve than a conflict that has matured over a long time.

Write down claims

So that the showdown does not turn into an exchange of insults and reproaches, prepare for an unpleasant conversation. Formulate your claims to the person in advance - clearly and to the point, but rather write them down on paper. Analyze how they are logical and justified. In a conversation, do not deviate from these points and do not stoop to unfounded accusations.

Know how to listen

Remember that conflict in a couple is not a monologue. Let the other person speak, listen and weigh their arguments. Your position may not be the only correct one!

One conversation, one problem

It is not necessary to discuss all the problems at once. If there are several controversial points, it is better to devote a separate conversation to each, otherwise no constructive work will come of it. Listing the shortcomings of another person, you can get carried away and say a lot of unnecessary things. Deal with one problem first, such as socks, and then move on to the next - but not on the same day.

Truth or lie? It's easy to find out!

By insulting or humiliating your opponent, you will only ruin your relationship with him, and not solve the existing problem. In addition, most likely, later you yourself will regret the carelessly thrown words. "Don't use expressions like 'you let me down all the time' or 'you're no good'," the expert warns. - Calmly explain the essence of your claims, reinforcing the words with specific examples, not general phrases.

Don't make comparisons

Comparing a person with someone else, you cause him a serious psychological trauma. Phrases like “Aunt Lena’s son is much more successful than you” or “My mother cooks borscht is much tastier” offend your loved ones. Each person is an individual, and he should not be like someone else.

Suggest a solution to the problem

It is very easy to express all your claims to another person. It is much more difficult to find a solution to the problem. During a quarrel, offer the interlocutor options that you consider acceptable. “If you don’t know how to resolve a conflict situation, it’s better not to start a quarrel at all,” the psychologist advises. “Since you don’t have a solution, why should someone else have it?”

Swear without witnesses
Never start to sort things out in the presence of other people - even close relatives, even passers-by. Your relationship is your own business. Starting to splash out the negative on someone in front of witnesses, you put everyone around you in an awkward position, without exception.

Don't be afraid to apologize
If in the course of a fight you begin to realize that you were wrong, find the strength in yourself to admit it and apologize. Do not forget that you started an unpleasant conversation not in order to assert yourself at the expense of another person, but in order to solve this or that problem.

Is it necessary to quarrel?
Before you go into conflict, once again weigh the pros and cons. Perhaps tomorrow you will already forget about the unpleasant situation? Believe me, many situations are not worth your time and nerves!