From scratch: how to start a relationship again

Reasons to start a relationship again
There are many reasons why partners might consider starting over. Most often this happens when they still have feelings for each other, despite the breakup. It’s also worth starting all over again if you understand that relationships with your loved one can be improved, correct shortcomings, forgive each other and move on together.

It happens that people start relationships anew after they broke up, because they have done a lot of work on themselves and have grown as individuals. They are reconnecting because they have rethought their lives, become better people and want to develop together.

Some couples may decide to try to rebuild their relationship for practical or financial reasons, such as shared assets, children, or responsibilities. And the decision to start a relationship again helps couples develop a strong emotional connection with each other, build trust and intimacy.

What to Consider Before Restarting a Relationship
There are a few things to consider before deciding to start a relationship with a clean slate.

Be sure to find out how ready your ex-girlfriend is for such changes in life and whether she wants to return to you. If she does not want this, you should not be too persistent, because every person has the right to choose who to be with.

It is necessary to understand the reasons for the breakup of relations and whether it is possible to correct the current situation. For example, if the breakup was due to a betrayal that you cannot forgive, resuming a relationship can be a mistake that will bring a lot of pain.

The desire to try and change to fix a relationship should not be one-sided. If you understand that a girl is not ready for changes or wants you to just do what she needs, just to be there, you should refuse relations with her.

Also think about how mentally prepared you are for the resumption of relations: will you cope with difficulties and changes, will you have enough patience, since establishing contact and establishing trust is a rather long process. It is also worth discussing goals, plans and priorities with the girl - if they differ radically, then the relationship may turn out to be unsuccessful.

How to start a relationship from scratch
There are several important decisions and actions that will help start a relationship anew.

1 Take responsibility for the past
To start a relationship anew, you need to analyze your mistakes and wrong actions, and not just try to forget about them. Understanding what brought resentment, negative emotions and pain helps to avoid the same behavior in the future and build strong, healthy relationships.

You should also talk about this with your girlfriend. Tell each other about experiences and little things you don't want to repeat. And also about what things will help each of you feel loved, valued, and also build trusting relationships.

2 Let go of past relationships
Depending on the experience experienced, people change, this process is ongoing. There are good times and bad times in long-term relationships that are worth letting go if partners want to start over. You can carry out symbolic actions that will mean that the relationship before parting in the past. For example, write about it on paper and burn it, or make a paper plane that you launch out of the window together.

3 Act Like Strangers
When you meet a new partner, you do not know his worldview, character and habits, which kindles interest in a relationship. When you start from scratch, you should perceive each other and act like strangers. This kind of pretending will help reset the relationship, treat each other with an open mind, and reveal new facets of your personalities.

4 Communicate
In a new relationship, it's worth creating a communication space where you can speak honestly and frankly, and share feelings, needs and concerns, knowing that you will receive support. It takes effort: active listening, empathy, the ability to compromise. Learn to understand each other, talk so that everyone is heard, resolve conflicts through discussion, and also not be shy to show your weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

5 Practice Forgiveness
In a new relationship, there should be a taboo on remembering the mistakes of the past and unpleasant moments - they need to be released and forgive each other. You should not mention them in a quarrel or as manipulation - it is better to apologize to the girl for the pain that you brought her, and not focus on unpleasant memories of her words and deeds. Devote your time to building new, healthy relationships, working through mistakes, and doing things that will allow you to get better and grow as a person.

6 Get support
Ask a friend of your trusted girlfriend to support her while you build a new relationship, and also enlist support yourself from someone close. These people will help you take a fresh look at the points that lead to disputes and misunderstandings. It is important that they do not take sides when it comes to conflicts, but be neutral and able to give advice aimed at improving relations, and not proving which side of the quarrel is right.

7 Be ready for change
The experience of the past leaves an imprint on a person’s personality, therefore, starting a relationship anew, you should be prepared for the fact that your girlfriend will change. This may relate to habits, needs, character and personality traits. It is important to learn to accept this, and not try to change the person in a way that suits you or hope that she remains the same as before.

8 Talk about your expectations
In order for a new relationship to be healthy and strong, it is important to discuss with the girl what you expect from them and from each other. This will help to avoid misunderstandings, unjustified hopes or high expectations. Talk about what goals you want to achieve together, what values especially important to you, what actions you consider unacceptable, and what things you are ready to compromise on.

9 Focus On What You Loved About Each Other
After resuming a relationship, it is important to remember what you have always admired in each other and focus on it. Maybe your girlfriend is the kindest person you know, and that's what attracted you when you first met. Try to think about what other things you find attractive about her and write them down in notes on your phone so that you can refer to them every day and especially in moments of misunderstanding. This will help remind yourself of what kind of person is next to you, and why you want to build a relationship with him.