To meet a girl that you fall in love with and with whom you want to plan your future is a great success. But starting a relationship is much easier than not letting it end because of quarrels and misunderstandings. Many even the most loving couples break up because of the inability to resolve conflicts. We have collected several principles, guided by which, you can reduce all possible risks.
1. Do not tell anyone the details of the quarrel.
Everything that happens in your couple - all conflicts, omissions, misunderstandings and unpleasant situations - should be kept secret from others. This applies not only to acquaintances and friends, but even to your closest relatives. When you share stories of your quarrels with them, you destroy each other's good reputation. Relatives most often take your side, not trying to objectively look at the problem that has arisen in your relationship. As a result, they pity one and blame the other, looking for more and more flaws in him, refusing to treat him the way they used to.
Of course, this also affects your relationship. All the negativity that gradually accumulates in your friends and family due to complaints and retelling of quarrels does not go unnoticed. Your girlfriend will see changes in the behavior of your environment and start asking questions. In addition, in stressful situations, your loved ones can bring down their anger on her, reminding her of all the mistakes that you have ever told about.
2. Do not interfere in the resolution of the conflict of others.
Never involve anyone in your conflicts. When you swear, sort things out, argue about something, do it only together. Anyone from the outside, no matter who it is - your parent, a friend of your couple, familiar with good intentions, will only aggravate the situation.
You will most likely make up in a few minutes, hours or days. But a person who has witnessed everything that is happening, drawn directly into the conflict itself and forced to take one of the sides in it, can remind you of what happened, continue to look for the right and wrong, and also manipulate your feelings.
3. Always discuss problems as equals.
When you discuss any problem, you should be on an equal footing. The opinion of each of you is important, you both have a voice and both deserve to be heard. There is no right or wrong view of the current situation: if something worries or does not suit one of you, the second should listen to your loved one and try to meet him halfway. There is no need to argue who is better versed in this or that problem, who is to blame for the fact that it has arisen, and who knows more about possible ways to solve it. This will force you to delve even deeper into proving your case instead of correcting a situation that is unpleasant for both of you.
4. Do not blame, but talk about your feelings.
In quarrels, it is important not to take the position of the accuser, but simply to tell your loved one about what annoys you, offends or does not suit you. Calmly, without looking for right and wrong, without trying to shame your partner or make him responsible for your feelings.
The secret is that in this case your words will not be perceived as hostile. When you wean yourself from immediately indulging in accusations, you will gain an advantage: you are more likely to be listened to and heard. As a result, problems will be resolved quickly and without strong feelings on both sides.
5. Look for compromises that would suit both of you.
Often in a couple there may be certain disagreements that require a search for a compromise. But far from always this same compromise can suit both you and your girlfriend. There are situations in which you decide not to consider either point of view and choose something that will be equally alien to the two of you. It seems that only in this state of affairs you will not offend each other.
But choosing something that suits neither you nor her is a very dubious act. The search for a compromise should not lead you to a state where you will equally negatively relate to the development of events. Focus on what both of you like, otherwise the conflict is likely to flare up again very quickly.
6. Work together to solve the problem.
Remember that in a relationship you are not against each other, but together against a problem. When something does not suit you two, it is important to join forces and find a way out of this situation. Help each other, listen with what your loved one says and asks for, do not let your momentary emotions destroy the relationship. You must be support and support for each other, and this is impossible if any problem turns you into opponents.
7. Not remembering each other's past mistakes.
Often in quarrels, you want to remember the girl all those unpleasant words and actions that she said or did in the past. But if you told her that you forgave and forgot about all these situations a long time ago, don’t even think about raising these topics in a fit of anger. No matter how serious the problem that arose in your relationship, what happened to you before it appeared should not matter.
Control your emotions - for sure you yourself made mistakes more than once, went too far, forgot about the feelings of other people. This does not make you a bad person and does not allow others to rub salt in your wounds at every opportunity. Be wiser and do not put pressure on your loved one, reminding him of his mistakes and shortcomings.
Ijaz khan
매그너스9
Juliantes