Relationships are rarely simple and completely understandable, even in cases where both partners are willing to work on themselves. Sometimes you may feel the need to discuss with someone what is happening in your personal life: share your concerns, express emotions, talk about injustices, and so on. Of course, friends become your listeners - to whom, if not them, you can entrust even the most intimate information. Especially if you are confident in these people and consider them your loved ones.
But do not rush to share everything that bothers you. In everything, it is important to observe the golden mean. Many things that you encounter in a relationship with your girlfriend should not be discussed even with those whom you completely trust. The less people around you know about what is happening in your personal life, the easier it is for you and your loved one to deal with all the difficulties. We have compiled a few examples of what you should not share with anyone.
1 Your girlfriend's past.
Seriously, if you made the decision to date this person, then you automatically have to come to terms with his past. Your girlfriend might have made a lot of mistakes before you met. She could do ugly things, she could be ashamed of who she is, she could have a bad relationship experience, and so on. It doesn't make her a bad person, and it doesn't make you a good person either if you decide to start a relationship with her.
If you have come to terms with your girlfriend's past, then this topic should be closed for discussion. You should not allow yourself to be reminded of things that are unpleasant for her during quarrels, manipulate this information, and even more so spread it. Your friends don't need to know everything about your girlfriend - just that you love and respect her is enough. If something hurts you, although you are trying to convince yourself otherwise, it is better to make a decision to leave and do not spoil the life of yourself and the other person.
2 Details of quarrels.
Never reveal the details of quarrels with a girl in a conversation with your friends. Of course, if you want your relationship to have a future. Your friends can be wonderful people who only want the best for you, but that doesn't mean they will always remain objective in their judgments. Plus, each person has his own life experience, which makes him form a certain attitude to the words and actions of other people. What you perceive quite calmly and in which you see nothing wrong can greatly offend one of your friends.
In general, you do not need advice to help improve your relationship. Other people will never be able to put themselves in your place, feel what you feel, understand what thoughts drive you. Moreover, they will not be able to remain objective, and this can provoke you into making decisions that you will later regret.
3 Information that the girl shared only with you.
If your girlfriend shared with you any information that she keeps secret from everyone, do not allow yourself to stoop to revealing it. And it doesn't matter who you want to tell it to - your mutual friends or your close friend. Remember that you cannot control what you say. What no one should know can be spread to your acquaintances completely by accident or used against you as a manipulation. No matter how much you trust another person, it is best to keep a secret.
It's also a question of your girlfriend's trust: if she realizes that the information told only to you has spread, she will no longer be able to feel safe around you. Especially if what she shared with you was something very personal and extremely important to her.
4 The girl's opinions about your friends.
Your girlfriend may not like all of your friends, and that's okay. Someone may joke too harshly, someone may not take her seriously, and someone simply cannot get along with her characters. She should not love your friends, because these people she did not choose for friendship. You did it, and they are important to you. You can continue to communicate with those people who, for some reason, your girlfriend does not like, and meet a girl who, for some reason, your friends may not like. Yes, it's hard, but it's possible if you're willing to put in the effort.
But remember that you should not tell your friends how your loved one feels about them. Firstly, it will bring even more negativity into their relationship and complicate your communication. Secondly, they may well begin to be biased towards your choice, biasedly evaluate your girlfriend and set you up against her in every possible way. Alas, this is a common scenario that you should avoid if possible.
5 Problems that you do not dare to discuss with a girl. If there is a problem in your relationship that worries you a lot, try to immediately discuss it with your girlfriend. No need to wait until everything is decided by itself, you should not make hints, and even more so, you don’t have to go to friends in order to speak out to them. What does not suit you in your personal life should be reported first to your girlfriend, and only then, if the problem is not too personal, to your friends.
Ask yourself: why do you dedicate your friends to some details of your personal life? Do you want to hear support, get advice on what to do, confirmation that you are doing everything right, or do you hope to establish and maintain relationships? If your loved one is dear to you, he should be the first to know about everything that worries you, gives you inconvenience or upsets. Make this the main rule when choosing topics for conversation.
Ijaz khan
매그너스9
Juliantes