2 types of honesty without which it is impossible to imagine a normal relationship

How honest are you with your partner? We all know that bitter truth is better than sweet lies, especially when it comes to trust in a couple. But can you be too honest? For example, when a loved one prepares a dish that is impossible to eat, will you tell him the truth or will you save his feelings and lie?

Lies leave a bad taste, no matter how small, and this is not surprising. Honesty is an important component of relationships and builds trust and emotional intimacy between partners, promoting deeper connection and understanding. Sincerity helps us communicate openly with each other and resolve conflicts constructively. Relationships that lack honesty can suffer from mistrust, misunderstandings, and lack of emotional security.

What is honesty like?
Of course, it can be different. Saying that you don't like your partner's food is not the same as warning him about your financial problems before the wedding. These are two different types of honesty that, according to research, can be found in any relationship. And each of them has its own causes and consequences.

1. Mandatory honesty
It originates in mutual agreements that people are willing to openly tell each other. Typically, required honesty refers to issues that affect partners' ability to bond emotionally, mentally, or physically. Its lack can have disastrous consequences for the union.

Public and private agreements about obligatory honesty are often formed at the very beginning of a relationship. They are individual for each couple, but usually relate to sex, money, common projects and everyday issues.

2. Selective Honesty
Some might call it a harmless understatement or a white lie, although this type of honesty can be quite dangerous. At its best, selective honesty involves withholding some information about something unimportant to the relationship. At worst, it is an attempt to deceive a partner in an issue that may seem innocent in the present, but poses a threat to the relationship in the future.

In some couples, there is a clear agreement that partners consider it unimportant to tell each other, for example, details of conversations with friends, problems in the family, or everyday work. In others, there are unspoken rules, and then this type of honesty may involve a voluntary decision to tell the truth and be sincere, even when it is not explicitly required. Selective honesty in this case is driven by personal values, as well as the desire to build strong relationships and communicate openly.

When to Use Mandatory Honesty
Since without it it is impossible to create a solid foundation for a sense of security in a couple, mandatory honesty is needed already at the dating stage. It will help establish trust, which is critical to a long-lasting relationship.

This type of honesty is key when you talk about ex-partners, previous marriages, your children and important life events. When you know each other's history, it is easier for each of you to recognize its potential impact on your current relationship.

Another topic that should be discussed with honesty is money. Partners need to exchange truthful information about debts, income, spending and financial goals. Otherwise, it will be impossible to make informed decisions, competently manage the overall budget and trust each other in everything related to money matters.

The need for mandatory honesty does not disappear after the partners finally become close. On the contrary, it persists throughout the entire duration of the relationship.

When to Use Selective Fairness
It appears when one of the partners decides to tell the other about their complexes and vulnerabilities. Talking openly about fears and doubts creates a space where everyone can receive support and comfort, which helps deepen emotional connection.

Selective honesty also allows you to show empathy and understanding when a partner talks about past mistakes and regrets that do not directly affect the current relationship. Such communication provides an opportunity to learn from each other’s experiences.

Additionally, this type of honesty should be used when a partner asks for feedback. In such a case, you should withhold just enough information to ensure that your loved one will calmly accept the comments and that they will benefit him.

When it comes to family, there is no need to share details that could affect the partner’s relationship with his relatives. In addition to those facts on which the well-being of your loved one and the health of your romantic relationship with him directly depend.