What To Do if a Girl Refuses to Marry You

A marriage proposal is a very serious step in a relationship for both you and your girlfriend. When planning how this moment will pass, you may not even think that the answer may be negative. And even if you really tried, organized everything and made an offer beautifully.

Of course, if in your relationship, in your opinion, there were no serious problems and misunderstandings, a “no” from a girl can shock you. But do not rush to draw any conclusions. If you really love her and want to build a future life only with her, use the following tips.

Keep calm
The worst thing you can do after receiving a negative answer is to lose control of your emotions. Accusations, indignation and, moreover, screams and aggression will not help you in any way. This will only prove to the girl and all the people around you that the refusal was justified. Remember that no one owes you anything, so you have no right to blame your loved one for not being ready to legitimize your relationship. Even if you invested a lot in your union and prepared for a proposal for a very long time. Nobody has to live up to your expectations.

Another reason why you need to save face is not knowing why you were told no. Rejection is not always a sign that you are not loved or appreciated. So do not rush to conclusions and try not to say a lot of things that you will later regret.

Discuss reasons for rejection
There can be a huge number of possible reasons for your girlfriend to say “no” to you. For example, if you had not previously started a conversation about a wedding, she could simply get scared and confused from surprise or psychological pressure if you decided to propose in a public place, in front of everyone. Or maybe she doubts that you are really ready for such a serious step. Especially if it’s your relatives who started talking about the wedding, and not you. Don't discount the fact that everyone has their own idea of the amount of time that should elapse before a proposal. For example, you can think about marriage six months after the start of a relationship, and your girlfriend will be sure that this is too short a period.

In general, the refusal of a marriage proposal has too many reasons. What exactly influenced the negative answer of your girlfriend - such a paramount task is before you. In one case, for a cherished “yes”, it may be enough for you to ask your question again in a more comfortable environment for the girl, and in the other, you will have to work on yourself and on relationships before deciding on a second attempt.

Discuss whether giving up means proposals that you part
You should not regard the rejection of the offer as a decision by the girl to break off your relationship. "No" doesn't necessarily mean you're breaking up. In most cases, such an answer suggests that the time has not yet come for the next stage in the development of your relationship and you need to wait a bit. Some couples have gone through multiple rejections before formalizing their family status. And there is nothing wrong with that. After all, in order for a relationship to be healthy, to help you develop and feel happier, a passport stamp is not required. This is not a guarantee that you will live a long and joyful life together. It is better to wait a bit and make sure that both of you are really ready for a new stage than to rush things.

Talk about how you imagine marriage
The reason for a negative response to a marriage proposal may be a banal misunderstanding of how exactly marriage will change your relationship. You can have very different views on the wedding, the distribution of responsibilities and, in principle, different goals for the future. It is very strange to propose to a girl to marry you, having never before normally talked about what you want to change after receiving a stamp in your passport.

Before you decide on such an important step, be sure to share your vision of marriage. Discuss whether you are planning children in the future, where you would like to live, how it is more convenient to make a budget, who will be responsible for what, and so on. It may turn out that in some fundamentally important things you and the girl do not agree. Sometimes a couple knows or suspects this from the very beginning, but delays the decisive conversation because of their unwillingness to part.

Give her time to think
Another great course of action if you've been rejected is to suggest that the girl take her time, think it over carefully, and give a final answer later. The main thing is not to put pressure on her and not demand a definite answer. Make it clear that you are willing to wait as long as it takes, within reason. Let her have the opportunity to calm down, come to her senses, weigh all the pros and cons and make a decision.

If you and the girl did not discuss readiness for marriage and she, in principle, did not expect such a responsible step in the relationship from you, it is not surprising that she could simply be confused. Do not rush things - from yourself you have already done everything that was required. Moreover, you approached your decision gradually: you had a lot of time to think it over well. In general, be patient and don't make the girl feel like she owes you anything.