The Golden Compatibility Formula
Getting acquainted with the next "soulmate", you probably thought: "Is this, in general, my woman? How to understand, we will succeed with her? How soon will we start to bother each other?"
Who are drawn to polyamory do not have to worry about compatibility. But if you want to build a really deep, interesting relationship with one person, it's better to know who is who and how to determine your compatibility.
The golden compatibility formula looks like this:
COMPATIBILITY = GIVE + RECEIVE + UNDERSTAND
Let's figure it out:
1. GIVE: giving is what a person shares easily and naturally; what he constantly radiates. It can be emotionality, jokes, caring, or organizing space, it can be purely practical help, or he is ready to pour ideas, motivate and inspire. One way or another, each person has his own "wave", on which he radiates - this is what comes from him, what he gives.
2. ACCEPT: Acceptance is what a person desires to receive from others. This is something for which he himself does not have the ability or strength, therefore each of us experiences a certain “vacuum”, unfulfilled needs in different areas of life. It's the same here: someone lacks emotions, someone lacks order, someone lacks help in everyday matters, someone lacks psychological care, and so on. This is what we want to receive.
3. UNDERSTAND: understanding is the ability of one person to correctly interpret the speech, motives and actions of another. This is the ability to hear, see and understand exactly what our interlocutor wanted to tell us with his actions or words.
COMPATIBILITY is ... it is ... Wikipedia, you say!
“Psychological compatibility is a characteristic of long-term interaction between two or more individuals, in which the manifestations of stable character traits characteristic of these individuals do not lead to long-term and insoluble contradictions without external intervention.”
In short, compatibility is when your and his / her behavior and character traits do not piss you off. And if, sometimes, it pisses you off - you can solve the problem together without resorting to outside help.
HOW DOES THIS FORMULA WORK?
What a person can GIVE or RECEIVE is not taken from God knows where! This is dictated by our innate nature, our psychological or even socionic type!
In short, there are 16 types of people. Each of them has its own strengths and weaknesses. For the strong, we give easily and with pleasure, but for the weak, we are happy to receive!
If in a simple way, then: knowing the type of person, you can reliably predict what qualities he will show, and what he will naturally GIVE. It will also be clear what he lacks - that is what he will gratefully ACCEPT.
UNDERSTANDING will also be much better between people with the same values, between people who speak the same language. These must be people of the same “element”! And values, and psychological language, and elements - all this can be learned by determining the sociotype of a person.
WHY DOES THIS FORMULA WORK?
If, expecting good compatibility, we will:
1. ONLY GIVE - it will be ALTRUISM!
If only, only GIVE, without UNDERSTANDING the person and his needs, not knowing what he really needs ... And you also have nothing to RECEIVE from him - then this is altruism. What does it have to do with such a negative connotation of "disservice".
2. ONLY ACCEPT = SELFISHNESS
If you only want to ACCEPT in a relationship, and you don’t even have a desire to UNDERSTAND a person, or somehow thank him (GIVE something, in the end), then this is pure EGOISM. Fie on you!
3. ONLY UNDERSTAND = OBSERVATION
If you are not interested in entering into an active relationship, there is no desire to GIVE and ACCEPT, but at the same time you perfectly UNDERSTAND the actions, feelings and psychological language of a person, then a relationship without GIVING and ACCEPTING is just OBSERVATION. passive observation.
Now let's break down the combinations
4. GIVE + RECEIVE = CALCULATION
If your relationship is built on the principle “you to me, I to you”, and you know perfectly well what you need to GIVE in order to GET what is yours, but at the same time - no psychological understanding, common values, empathy - as if they fell from different planets! That is CALCULATION. Or a contractual relationship. Well, this is ... for an amateur.
5. GIVE + UNDERSTAND = SACRIFICE
If you GIVE a lot to a person in a relationship, being well versed in his needs and needs; if you UNDERSTAND each other perfectly, and at the same time this beast does not give you anything in return, then this is giving without a response, that is, SACRIFICE.
6. UNDERSTAND + ACCEPT = USE
If you both UNDERSTAND each other perfectly, there is a sense of kinship and a common language between you, but only you ACCEPT in this relationship, then this is not a relationship. This is a USE! And it is worse than selfishness, because you, [the soul of the Arrestan bisova], accepting the sacrifice of another, do not reciprocate.
Only in the aggregate 3 components of this formula - work!
COMPATIBILITY is when you naturally GIVE what is inherent in you by nature; it's when you ACCEPT exactly what your partner likes to share; this is when you speak the same language, when one easily continues the thought of another and there is no need to waste time on clarifying. Because you UNDERSTAND each other!
Socionics will help you determine all three components of this formula. What are you and your partner like? I hope this formula will help you in choosing your soulmate, as well as in deepening your relationship with an existing ally or ally.
And remember that we love not for qualities. But we choose - according to them!